How to Survive a Polar Vortex.
Remember the year that it was brutally cold in Connecticut? Okay, well it’s always cold in Connecticut, but I’m talking more so than usual. I’m talking about when the weather of the North Pole makes its way to our state and people begin to stock up on heated blankets and snuggies rather than the bread, eggs, and milk.
The Polar Vortex is coming back, and I know that you just can’t wait. The whipping winds that shatter windchill records as real feel temperatures plunge into the negatives makes for such a cozy ambiance. The snow squalls that hit you in the face so hard that you think you’re getting acupuncture is reallly therapeutic. Your face getting red from the pain of the cold? Don’t worry, you’re just getting a tan.
Winter in Connecticut is such a dream come true.
So, how do we survive this?
1. Dress in Layers.
Forget the hoodie. Please don’t wear shorts with a winter jacket. Stop trying to be stylish. Your style has been interrupted by momma nature in exchange for, well, looking ridicules.
2. Stay Indoors.
Unless of course your heat is broken. Then go build yourself an igloo.
3. Stay Hydrated.
Water just won’t justify any of this. Break out the expensive bottles of wine where you’ll eventually forget that you’re in Connecticut. Just remember step number two.
We’re all going to survive this together. I mean, just look at these marvelous temeperatures. We are going to be fine. This is fine. Everything is fine.